Karma is my game

Dreams, Nightmare.

Dreams are so beautiful that it makes you want to close your eyes forever, living in em', forgetting the reality, but when it has turned into a nightmare, the only thing you would want to do is run back to reality

Walking through the underpass all alone with everything so cold & all you can only see was dust, cracked walls & dim lights. But as I walk deep into the underpass, I suddenly saw someone, or rather a few people from a distance. Does my eyes deceived me? Or what I see was real? I wanted to be sure so I took a few steps forward & then, I took a few steps some more & from there, I didn't stop, I continued walking & this time, as briskly as I could. Then I ran towards them & I hugged them tight, a tear ran down my cheek. It was my beloved brother, his boyfriend, my 9 years close friend & a friend which I just know him for almost 3 months, he have been helping me a lot lately. I stopped hugging them, & just stood rooted to the ground while I stare at each & everyone of them. They just smile & no words were heard.

Suddenly, they just walk away slowly from me, I asked them where are they going but all I heard was the silent background & so I followed slowly from behind. Then we came into a room & in that room was a big pile of mess with a big window at the side. I slowly let my head out of the window & take a look of the surroundings. All I could see was the sea & a big cliff. Shockingly, we're so high on top. I looked at my beloved ones, then suddenly a friend of mine, the one who I know for 3 months took a few steps forward & stood at the window. I don't know why didn't I do anything about it but just watched, he looked back at me & just smile, then he jumped out of the window.

I quickly ran to the window & take a look, I screamed as his head was about to hit that hard rooftop but then, he just fall away from that rooftop, I was shocked with this face of mine full of tears. My heart was still thumping loudly, did he just repelled from that rooftop? Then my beloved brother & his boyfriend hold hands while they stood there at the window, then after a few seconds of them looking at each others' eyes, they faced down & jumped. Last but not least, my 9 years close friend, jumped out of the window as well. I feel like my heart is going to stop with my knees shivering so badly. Then someone pushed me out the window & I fall right into the sea. I quickly swam up & finally my head was out. I looked at them, I was in panic. A few seconds later, I blacked out.

Opened my eyes, everything was so blur. Blinked my eyes a few times & I was with my beloved brother again & his boyfriend, but the other two weren't here with us, then again, someone else is here with us, it's the guy that I still can't forget about, & take a step forward to moving on. I was shocked, speechless & my heart suddenly felt so glad to finally see him. Can't believe still that he's here with us. I feel like I'm in a dream, is this even real? I wondered but then I didn't think about it too much. So we were walking, I don't know where were we going but all I know was that we're walking. Brother & him kept teasing me, I got so irritated that I just pushed them away & quickly walk away.

He quickly ran to me & pulled my hand. I looked at him with heart rage in fire. He just looked into my eyes, he smiled, then he teased me again. I pushed him away & walk off. Then I saw a train at full speed as I walk away & its going to his direction. I slowly turned back, tears were dripping, my knees were shaking, my heart nearly stopped pounding. I almost fall on my knees but then, my brother quickly grabbed hold of me. I can clearly see the body been badly damaged. I screamed in pain, I can't believe that he's gone. I regret for walking away, I blamed myself for being too sensitive. I didn't even get to spend time with him in a proper way.

I swear to myself that I'm going to regret this, the guilty feeling is going to be tattooed right in my heart til the day I closed this eyes of mine. I feel like ending my life, my care for myself & everyone whom I loved is all shattered. The feeling of not having a good future is so strong. Then night came, my aunt suddenly appeared. Then I saw my daddy sitting on a bench beside a very very fat man who is lying down, sleeping soundly. I looked at my daddy & tears rised again. Then everyone hugged me tight, I looked at the body & cried.

Woke up & my face was full with tears. Then I sat down, my mind kept playing the part where he got hit by the train & where I see the body been badly damaged. I can never forget the body, it has been captured in mind. Tears went dripping, I text him to know whether he is still breathing now, safe & sound. He replied a few hours later, I was relieved. I checked my brother's tumblr, to see if he has update it yet. I checked nearly almost every single soul whom I am really closed with. They're all fine, still breathing, still busy with their own life.

I asked to myself, " What is this? " And suddenly a sentence appeared in mind a few minutes later, " A lesson not to leave your loved ones for a very long time, but instead treasure them with all your heart, spend every single minute you have for them cause you might never know when will they leave this cruel world. " Kept thinking about it, the sentence is still in my mind. I want to meet them again but I'm just too afraid, the embarrassing feeling is still there in my heart. I'm not over it, I'm so pressurized. It's been more than a week & it has been a sleepless night for me. Oh God, I know I've done a lot of sins but please, I beg of you, let my future & the souls whom I loved be a bright one, no tears, no pain, but just happiness. Please fulfill this wish, just this once cause I can't bear to see myself or the rest to take another step to a whole lot of pain.

Labels: Dreams

Dreams.

Some dreams are worth it when they are left with meanings while others are just a waste when they are left empty

Opened my eyes & I found myself standing on top of a white fluffy cloud. I looked around & I quickly walk right at the edge of the cloud trying to see where am I exactly but I can only see a big blue sea. Not even one Country or an Island is around. I sat, thinking of what to do or is there any choices available in my mind but the answer is just nothing. I was about to shed a tear when I heard a voice, a familiar voice. As I listened to it carefully, the voice was getting closer & closer & as I turned around to see who it was, my jaw literally dropped cause it was none other than Katy Perry. My heart beats like crazy & I almost fall on my knees cause I can't believe what I'm seeing. She smiled at me & she wore exactly like the one she sang on Fireworks official video.

As soon as I blinked, I was in a building in the middle of the night with Katy Perry of course. The first thing is, I looked around to see where am I exactly cause this place looks so familiar. Then suddenly, I heard someone started singing & when I turned, Katy Perry was looking at me while singing the song named Fireworks. I was lost, seriously. Then as she sang, she walk to me & stood right beside me. I covered my face with my hands cause I can't believe what is happening & as soon as I let my hands down, I was shocked to see that we're in a crowd. She was still singing though & was still looking at me while she sang, then she just turned away & looked at someone else. I was trying to find who was she looking at & as soon as I found who it was, my jaw totally dropped while my mind repeatedly says "Oh my god."

It was Syakirchner, he was sitting on the red sofa & now he's walking through the crowd while his eyes locked at someone. Then suddenly he stopped & was standing right in front of a guy who was sitting down while he was chatting with his friends. I was amazed to see that the guy who was sitting down was none other than his lover, Mile. I was giggling cause I find it kind of funny but at the same time cute cause I can see Sya's head going forward to Mile & as soon as Mile turned around, their lips touched & their chests suddenly let out fireworks. I smiled while looking at them both kissing. I thought it was just a soft kiss til I saw Sya letting out his tongue. I smacked my forehead while saying, "Oh boy." Then they both looked at me & laughed.

Suddenly, Katy Perry pulled my hand & she opened the door & I was shocked to see that we're in the middle of a stadium now. Gosh, can this be more complicated? She pulled me til we were in the middle & she was still singing her song. Everyone gathered around us & they were dancing while fireworks came shooting out from their chests. Katy Perry looked at me then told me not to look down on myself & just open my heart & let the world see the beauty inside it cause it ain't worth hiding it. I looked down while my eyes was flooded with tears & she suddenly held her hand under my chin & let my chin up, making me faced her & she said,"You are beautiful." While giving me a kiss on my cheek.

Then I woke up, I was on a bed in a room & Mile was sitting right beside me. He then smiled & Sya came in from the room door. I got out of the bed & they both kept staring while smiling at me. I covered my face & was hurt cause I did planned not to see anyone yet. Then Sya held out a mirror & told me to take a look & so I did. I took a peek & I was amazed to see that my face was flawless, not even a scar or a mark to be seen. A tear fall from my right eye & Sya quickly wanted to hug me when I got awake by someone, it was my aunt. She woke me up cause granny needs my help. She told me to print 15 papers from the paper that she have given me cause her supervisor needs it. I was cranky so I just took the paper & grumpily walk out of the house without even taking a shower. I wondered, does the dream have a meaning behind it or was it just plain empty? Found this on a certain website.

When someone appears in your dreams, it's because that person misses you.
- Psychological fact

So goodbye readers, til the next update.

Labels: Dreams

Want to watch the sunset with you til the night time came & stars will start to appear then we can try to connect the stars together

Been wishing for a guy to ask me out & watch the sunset at the side of the beach together with him. Then we could watch the bright stars twinkling at night. Lie down on the sandy beach with him while watching the stars, could just hug him tightly & just look at his mesmerizing eyes & maybe there'll be a star shooting right across the night sky & then we could just close our eyes & make a wish. Could just spend time with him, eating snacks like marshmallows or just wait for him to make the first move. Well, was just joking about the second part but still sweet & romantic if that happens. But I guess this are just dreams that won't come true at all. Keep on dreaming cause no guy will make your dream come true. Really wish that dream will come true. It's okay if it won't, at least I could just dream it & feel the love in my dreams but it would be more sweeter if it came true. I could just love him & hug him tightly. Should stop dreaming now. Well whatever it is, at least I have fun thinking of it.

Labels: Dreams

zairul is my name &
karma is my game.

His Quote:

what goes around with me comes around you.

Sweetest Ecstasy

♦ Dudy Monteiro.
♦ Dudy's Tumblr.
♦ Hafiz Pendek.
♦ Subhi Illiyyin.
♦ Syakirchner Elise.
♦ Hedi Kikomori.
♥ Jaselin Gemok.
♥ Frah Anne.
♥ Maia Panda.
♥ Yidah Twinny.
♥ Farna Bimbo.
♥ Uffie Aosyki.
♥ Echa Boncet.
♦ Syairul Adams.
♦ Fyzzstro.

Individuals

Amelina.
Azmy.
Belle.
Din.
Echa.
Eicha.
Eydah.
Faizahh.
Fie.
Fir.
Irzan.
Ita.
Jaja.
Mei Ting.
Naim.
Natasha.
Nini.
Nisa.
Pearl.
Qayyum.
Rush.
Shah.
Shasha.
Shaq.
Sheeqeen.
Teko.
Yourlanda.
Yusry.
Zaidi.

May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012

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