Karma is my game

Life is like a Ghost Town.

I want you to be here with me through the lonely nights, accompanying me til I closed my eyes & wander off to my dreams

What a cold night now & a warmth hug is what I need. Looked out the window & you could see little raindrops falling from the sky. Nowadays, I feel kinda lonely & when this happens, negative thoughts will come running through my mind. I just need someone here with me, not always. Someone I could love that I couldn't do with my sweetest friends. Well, erose love? I need that but not too much cause controlling it is what I need to do. It seems that finding someone that you want to be with is barely easy. Whenever I looked at my Sweetest G friend with his boyfriend cuddling each other, I would feel like one lampost standing beside two lovebirds cuddling & hugging each other. They looked sweet together but then I could feel the pain in me. Looked at my scars & seriously I feel so stupid knowing all my stains. How I wish I could turn back time. Nowadays whenever I walk across the overhead bridge, I will looked out & see the view, then my mindset would just think of suicide. I feel so depress & I'm scared if my mind kept thinking about it. Oh god, please give me your guidance... I don't wanna end my life too soon, a lot of things for me to explore. I still wanna have babies. Seriously. I wanna have my own wife & kids. Don't you? But then, I know now I'm not going through the right path but it's just for temporary. Just need the right time. Let nature take its course aites? Don't worry. This will all be gone, not soon... Just be patient.

Labels: lonely

Speak of the Devil Part Two, Poisoned.

Never trust a scorpio too much cause if you do, you'll get poisoned

... Phone beeped. It's a text & it's from him. Surprised & was jumping for joy.

Open the text & read it:

Him: Loving someone is beautiful isn't it?

Me: Yes it is. Why? Are you in love with someone...

Him: No. But I like him. I will never get him. Maybe I'm like you, waiting. Waiting for something that will never gonna happen.

My heart froze & then it shatters to bits. Almost dropped the phone when G friend snatch it away from me. Asked me why & I just kept quiet, he read through my phone & he was shocked. The only one word that came into his mouth was, bustard. I tried my best to control this tears of mine but then I couldn't. After a few minutes later, I stopped. I don't wanna cry over spilled milk cause nothing helps over crying, but then he kept repeating that same word. Oh, I feel so poisoned by his words. I guess this is my love life cycle. 3rd time someone bustard me. Who's gonna be the next heartbreaker? I'm waiting for my future. The next heartbreaking love life. It's okay. Thanks for making me smile. Thanks for the memories. It was all sweet while it lasted. Now you left me crying & I won't forget that sentence that you have said. Kept repeating in my mind. Thanks for all the love. Will treasure all the memories when I'm with you. Love you always.

Your rainbow,

Zairul

Labels: Broken

Speak of the Devil.

Watch that salty mouth of yours cause they'll turn out reality sooner or later

Everything came out unexpectedly in one go. It all hit me. What happened?

Well here's the story:

Waiting for the bus with two gay friends. I was talking about how un-original my face is & my face reminds people of their closest love, then a few minutes later, the bus arrived. We board it & sat at the last seats. [ From your view looking at the back seat starting from the left ] A good-looking guy, Me, G friend, Close G friend & A pretty teenage girl. Was still talking about the topic with G friend when I realized that the teenage girl kept staring & smiling at me. Got awkward & type something on the phone. Let G friend take a look & he turned facing that girl. He nodded & said that she is asking Close G friend the time. Replied, I know. Then a few minutes later, both of my G friends point fingers at me. Lost & the teenage girl asked, are you gay?
Felt so shocked that I just replied, No, I'm bisexual with a smile. Then she said that I look like one of her gay friend & compliment me that I'm very cute. Laughed & said thanks. Suddenly we just chatted & asked me a lot of question & she asked my G friends too. But then she asked me something that suddenly make my smile turned slowly into sadness.

She asked me this ;

N: Are you single?

Z:Yes.

N:Omgosh, why? You can hang out with me & my gay friends.

Kept quiet then she is going down the same stop as us.

N: So, are you interested in anyone?

Z: Yes, but he's not interested in me. Think I'm gonna let him go.

N: Oh, I'm sorry. Well here's my block. See you cute guys at Starbucks or wherever.

Z: Oh hey, we don't have your number so mind...?

N: Oh here, name is Nura & here's my number ....

Z: Thanks bye.

Talk about it with G friends & then slacked at around his area. Saw a white kitty & it was so hungry that I just bought her food. It was quite far but I don't give a damn cause whenever I saw a hungry cat, I'll tend to buy them food even if I'm saving my money. I can't stand them go hungry. So poor when they got no owners. Anyway, so I just bought it & then we went back to the place where we found her cause we kind of bring her along & we placed her down on the floor. Placed her food down & walk away. Slacked at the same area & a few minutes later, the kitty came & then it sat & licked her paws. If cats come licking it's paws, that means they're saying thank you & god bless the person who gave them food. Your welcome kitty, wish I could bring you home but my life now is not stable yet. Such sadness. A few minutes later, G friend got to go & gave a goodbye hug & we head to the bus stop, then ...

Labels: Surprises

Broken.

A broken heart that won't be in one piece unless you're here with me, then I'll be a whole again

Tears. They just can't stop running. You can't control them. They'll just come running out of those eyes of yours. When your eyes are done, they'll just stop. Why am I talking about this? That's because it just happen last night. Just can't control it. Let it stop by itself. It did but the heart remains broken. Life. Love. Myself. Friends. School. Family. But the main thing is my empty life. It's like a ghost town. No one to be with. No one to hold hands with. No one to love with. What's the point to live when love just broke you down. Family torn apart, school throwing you out just one more time of not attending & friends giving you problems everytime you smile.

Enough about myself. No one can be there for me everytime when I needed them. Sometimes, I just need to stand up with my own two feet when I'm down to the ground. I'm such a waste of life. This life deserve to be use properly & not get ruin. I'm ruined. Let's end here for now.
Goodbye readers.

Labels: Broken

Leo, Scorpio & Gemini ;

Scorpio 23rd October - 21st November

Scorpio is ;

Can be mean sometimes, and will Probably knock you out, if crossed the wrong way!! EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. Freak in bed. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever. Romantic. Caring

Leo & Scorpio

Dating For A Serious Relationship

Two shining personalities join together. They have alot in common, especially when Leo is the female and Scorpio is the male. The Scorpio female is too demanding for the Leo male. Jealousy plays a major role in family quarrels. Basically , this should make for one of the most compatible combinations , but long and happy partnership will be far better when a Leo female marries a Scorpio male.

Two very strong willed individuals generally create some rather stormy moments . Without some mutual give and take there is rocky road ahead.

The guy that I'm in love with. The one that do not know the answer at all whether he loves me or not. Well, waiting for him. His not that typical of a scorpio. I could see that his a mix with Sagittarius & I am really loving that. His personality is so interesting that you would wanna know more about him. Trust me you will, there's a lot of people love reading his lovely blog but I do not know why it doesn't exist now. Curious so texted him but he didn't reply my text. Guess his busy? Well I wanna think positive, don't wanna get stress or my pimples would appear. Well, enough about me. Scorpio, Sagittarius. Love them both especially when they're mix. Believe me, when you know the one that I'm in love with. Your blog will end up like mine. Wrote all about him.

Gemini 21st May - 20th June

Gemini is ;

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Excellent in Bed. Loves to make out. Extremely great kisser. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

Leo & Gemini

Singles Wanting Compatible Relationships

While Leo loves with his heart first, Gemini loves with his mind. This combination will soon find out that they are unsuited for each other. On the surface there is great mutual attraction for both signs. Both are naturally attracted to glamor, flattery and the world of good fellowship, both will have this in common. BUT after they return home from the party, the carefree , passionate Leo will surely clash with the unreasonable Gemini. Of course the Gemini will complain that the Leo love of nature is too material , possessive and demanding.

There is good reason to be optomistic about this pairing though, dispite the above, that is if Leo can understand that gemini won't always be around to give them the attention they thrive on. Gemini will need to understand Leo's need to run the world, but all in all this is a very good combination of air and fire.

Well this is especially for Hafiz & his scandal. You know who right Hafiz? It's true. You're sometimes ego too. Can see it, so hard to explain that's why I got bored of you sometime when you talk about your life. Ego much? Ouch, I know someone would say that. His a scorpio. Well, enough about this. Hope you guys sort your problem.

Leo & Leo

Dating For A Serious Relationship

This should prove to be a compatible combination, but it is not always true. Leo's are positive people and love to be the center of attraction. They want to be the head of their social groups. The two are constantly competing for leadership, unhappy results can result from this. The only hope for a successful partnership is for the female to be content to rule the home and the male to shine in the business and social world.

Two positive and strong willed individuals. Two kings in the same country. This country isn't big enough for the both of you and you both know it. Trouble is, you both are so much in love with love that you may ignore the reality.

Leo & Leo, not match lovers. Never good to be together. Believe me, I've tried cause I was once with a Leo & it really sucks. His attitude is really such an ego & is always seeking attention. Well, forget about it. Don't wanna talk much. Well depends on what date he was born cause when you're born in the middle like me for instance, born in 1st aug & its between the July - August & so I'm typical. Like my stain is 22nd August so his a mix of Leo & Virgo. Really hate it. What you expect, Leo. Such ego but I am not an ego. Well, I am but I tried not to show it cause ego is really such a pain. Show it a little, not too much. Don't wanna make enemies. Well, that's what happen to my stain. His enemies are my sweetest ecstasy & friends. Loving it.

Labels: compatible

Leo & Sagittarius are the match lovers.

23rd July - 22nd August

Leo is ;

Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at a lot. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Loyal. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Great when found.

22nd November - 21st December

Sagittarius is;

Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with you might end up crying.

They're compatible with each other & with those characteristic on them, I know both will last long. Well, but what if one of the party do not know the answer whether if he loves him or not? Must he wait? Well, if the answer is a yes then it's worth it of him waiting for that party but if the answer is no, isn't that such a waste? But at least there is some moments where they spend time with each other that won't be forgotten. Treasure it all. Well, someone I have feelings for is a Sagittarius. Well, I know he knows I love him. But he does not know the answer whether he loves me or not. Saddens me but still I'll wait for the answer. Just hope he knows the answer & hope my waiting won't be a waste.

Labels: Horoscope

Surprise.

Whenever there's wind blowing, I would imagine that you're right behind me breathing through my ears

Don't you just love surprises? I mean what if you often get surprises from someone whom loves you. Wouldn't that be amazing? Well, you could somehow label that someone as a stalker cause it's like his following you everywhere you went, get my point? Hmm, nevermind... What's got into me? Well, just read my mind if you could cause the first thing that came out from your mouth if you knew what is going on through this brain of my mind, the word will be sweet. Wait & see. Hope he'll be smiling if he got that surprise. Well, I know he will. I mean who doesn't love to taste sweetness. True?

Labels: Surprises

What's your answer?

Missing him so much, so planned & have a surprise visit. Waited for him near his area for hours but that doesn't stop me. Even though boredness strike me, I just can't help myself waiting for him to head home. Didn't reply my text & that got me thinking, is he around here somewhere? Searched for him. Texted him again but he didn't replied. Searched for him, left & right... & saw him. Earpiece on & his face expression got me wondered. What is he thinking? Thought of giving him a surprise hug from behind but instead I called him. Told him to stop & he did. Asked him whether is he wearing blah blah blah & that got him. He tries to find me but I hid myself behind a wall. Pop out & went to him. Gave him a hug. Miss his hug though. He went to his crib & put down his things & went for a walk with me. His little sister compliment me saying that I'm handsome blah blah blah. Laughed & didn't accept her compliments. Well, when this red dots on my face is totally gone, you could say what you wanna say. For now, just label me as ugly cause I know I'm one but thanks for the compliment anyway.

Went slacking at a stadium & while talking, a rainbow appeared right in front of us, 2 to be exact. It really make me smile cause whenever I looked at that rainbow, it will remind me of how colorful my life is whenever he is around & now his right beside me smiling & laughing while giving me that mesmerizing look. His stares make my mind go blank. Eyes are so beautiful. Couldn't imagine if his in a room with me & he just stare at me the whole time. I think, we would have done something dirty in less than 10 minutes. Sorry if I'm being dirty right now. Enough of dirty thoughts. Anyway, he was talking about his life. Different feelings started to appear while he told me about his life. Didn't wanna show out my feelings cause I didn't want him to get curious & when he got curious, pop came a question like," Are you okay? " Then I'll started to throw it all out & that will be a disaster on that day. Didn't slack long due to his mom calling him couple of times. Thanks a lot mummy. It's okay, at least I get to spend few good hours with him. Treasure all those times. Went off & got a goodbye hug. Wanted to give him a kiss but my mind got stuck with something so I just hold my kiss & gave him a wave instead. Kept thinking about it & tears went running while time passes by. Hafiz called me to know if I'm okay, so does Zack. But I'm in need of Hafiz the most. I just don't know why I need Hafiz around with me nowadays. Guess I need to talk someone. Both adviced me & hung up. Cooled me down, well a little. Went home & close my eyes. Before I went off to lala land. The first thing that came into my mind was, why am I waiting?

Labels: Broken

Can we pretend airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now

I could really use a wish right now cause I can't wait no more. I feel so lonely, in need of someone to love me. I have a song that I want you to listen & this song is specially for you. Hope you'll listen to it cause I want you to listen to the lyrics. Hope you know what I'm trying to say here. Wish you're always by my side. Am still gonna wait. Just give me the answer when you know what your heart wants. Standing here waiting for you.

Labels: wish

I want us to be something more, I want us to be a step ahead from all our friends & you know that right?

Still waiting for you. I don't care how long it takes for me to wait for your answer cause I just wanna wait for you. As long as you won't give me the answer, I'll just continue waiting even if it takes years to come. I know somewhere, somehow there is a future ahead of us. We just need a little hope from both of us & a positive thinking towards each other. Everybody deserve to taste love. I just can't stop waiting for you. If I could, I will wait for you outside your home on top of the hill just sat there, on top of a giant rock, waiting for you to go out of your house door & walk up the hill & gave me your answers. I just want you in my life cause I only reserved this half of my life for you. I want you to be part of my love story. I wanna write your beautiful name in my lovelife book. I want to have memories of us pasting our pictures feeding each other chocolate ice-cream on the book. I want a future us. I want the past us. I want us to be something. I want us to walk in the same way not in separate ways cause I need you in my life. You're the guy that could make me smile as long as I wanted as long as you're alive & you're right beside me holding my hand, never letting go, I know I'm gonna be okay.

Labels: waiting

zairul is my name &
karma is my game.

His Quote:

what goes around with me comes around you.

Sweetest Ecstasy

♦ Dudy Monteiro.
♦ Dudy's Tumblr.
♦ Hafiz Pendek.
♦ Subhi Illiyyin.
♦ Syakirchner Elise.
♦ Hedi Kikomori.
♥ Jaselin Gemok.
♥ Frah Anne.
♥ Maia Panda.
♥ Yidah Twinny.
♥ Farna Bimbo.
♥ Uffie Aosyki.
♥ Echa Boncet.
♦ Syairul Adams.
♦ Fyzzstro.

Individuals

Amelina.
Azmy.
Belle.
Din.
Echa.
Eicha.
Eydah.
Faizahh.
Fie.
Fir.
Irzan.
Ita.
Jaja.
Mei Ting.
Naim.
Natasha.
Nini.
Nisa.
Pearl.
Qayyum.
Rush.
Shah.
Shasha.
Shaq.
Sheeqeen.
Teko.
Yourlanda.
Yusry.
Zaidi.

May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012

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