Tuesday, December 21, 2010

My Forever After.


I want you to be my forever after, just you & me side by side til the day I have to go


Through the cold night where the stars swirl around me, trying to make me feel secured. Tears ran down my cheek while I am being protected by the stars. I couldn't touch the most beautiful & most unique feeling with pain & thorns mixed together, & that is Love. I want to feel Love again. I want to get hurt while going through it, cry cause of the pain I'll get from it but I couldn't. I can't Love. My heart got sick & tired of it but I can't take it being left alone in life. My hands are free, I want it to be hold forever, feeling secured with arms around me & feel the breath near my neck. I want to close my eyes & fall from the highest mountain & finally fall right into his arms. I want to look into his eyes, deeply & see those sparkles shining in his eyes. I want to feel that love showering on my lonely heart. Let it shine, igniting the love together with him. I want him to be My Forever After.

But all of this caused patience this lovely fantasy that I have kept in my mind. Now as I wait, I feel like I'm on the highest mountain, getting ready to hear this 5 words below the mountain, I'm ready to love you & I'll just fall letting him catch me. Oh what a beautiful fantasy that my mind have written. Fantasies aren't meant to be in reality & that I know, but wouldn't it be something if it were to step in the reality world? I shouldn't be living in my fantasy world & start thinking of the reality world where it's cold, letting you feel so insecure like you're the only soul who lives in this world. I'll wait til my heart is ready to touch Love again.

As for now, I'll just move on in life alone, taking step by step through all this pain that have caused in my heart. But I know that there are beautiful souls around me who are like shining stars spreading through the night sky, & that is my sweetest friends. They are there for me when I'm down & whenever I'm in need of them, they'll sacrifice some bits of their time by listening & consoling me whenever I'm in pain, letting all this cold tears run down & splashes to the ground. I feel so blessed that I have friends who step into my life & lift me up when I fall. Even though they couldn't be there for me always, I know that I need to do it alone, by getting up with my own two feet every time I fall on my knees.


Dear Dudy,

I just want to say that I feel so relieved that finally I have found you. All this while I've been searching for a soul of the same sex to have a bonding together with me & be so close, & that soul is you. Get to share all the pain that we've get in love, get to console you when you're in tears, get forehead kisses from you when I'm down, get rubbed on the head with tight hugs from you every time, get to give you forehead kisses with tight hugs too & get goodbye kisses on the lips before we go every time [ lesbian much? ]
. You're like a brother to me, it makes this tears from my eyes run down to my cheek, tears of joy. Wishing for this & finally it came true. Even though the ones that I wished for badly didn't came to me, at least I got you. I'll always be there for you when you're down, want to wipe those cold tears away from your cheeks & just see that smile drawn on your face after you've set all those negative emotions away. I wouldn't want to leave you & I hope you won't leave me too. Let's cry together when we're in pain due to Love, let's use penknives & cut our wrists so deep til it bleed so badly, & let's smile together after setting all those emotions free from our cold heart. Smile always Dudy cause I will always want to see you smile til the day I have to go & I know someday your beautiful heart will shine while getting poured by the most amazing feeling created by God, & that is Love. Love you always. xxxx

Your Little Brother,
Zairul.


P.S: Your song that you've send me was being played repeatedly while I typed all this, feel so glad that I can focus while listening to your beautiful voice. This is the first time I can focus while a song is being played & that is just by listening to your sweet voice.

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zairul is my name &
karma is my game.

His Quote:

what goes around with me comes around you.








Sweetest Ecstasy

♦ Dudy Monteiro.
♦ Dudy's Tumblr.
♦ Hafiz Pendek.
♦ Subhi Illiyyin.
♦ Syakirchner Elise.
♦ Hedi Kikomori.
♥ Jaselin Gemok.
♥ Frah Anne.
♥ Maia Panda.
♥ Yidah Twinny.
♥ Farna Bimbo.
♥ Uffie Aosyki.
♥ Echa Boncet.
♦ Syairul Adams.
♦ Fyzzstro.

Individuals

Amelina.
Azmy.
Belle.
Din.
Echa.
Eicha.
Eydah.
Faizahh.
Fie.
Fir.
Irzan.
Ita.
Jaja.
Mei Ting.
Naim.
Natasha.
Nini.
Nisa.
Pearl.
Qayyum.
Rush.
Shah.
Shasha.
Shaq.
Sheeqeen.
Teko.
Yourlanda.
Yusry.
Zaidi.



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