Paranoia.

Everything is in a mess after you left, so I scream in pain while I bend down on my knees, crying with paranoia in the way

I've been tearing these past few weeks. Day by day, it got worse. My mind's been having too much voices now, so I screamed in pain. I couldn't control myself. I feel like as if everyone is trying to harm me mentally. I feel like they're trying to make me kill myself. The thoughts of killing myself came back. Kept fighting for my life. My mind got multiple flashbacks out of the blue. Voices were heard everywhere. Dreamt of my brother every single night. Feel like everything is twirling so fast. Closed my eyes tight while I pulled my hair so damn hard.

Can't bear with the pain. Trying to but it's so hard. I'm really tired of hearing lies. Now I became more silent in work, no longer am I that cheerful teen anymore. Silence is filling up my life now. Somebody save me from this nightmare that has already touched the reality world. I'm suffering from this misery... Now I can never trust anyone, not even my close friend. It's so hard to find someone who is true to you. Never in my life have I had one true close friend. Well, I just hope that.. I can cope with this heavy pain.