Karma is my game

A single touch.

A single touch can either mend everything or just break it all to tiny pieces

April is ending & May is reaching. Still jobless, still crawling through this hurting life of mine, trying to find a job just to support myself. My money that I've received from PAYM due to the performance I did in Chingay is running low. Browse every newspaper & there's no job that's suitable for me. These past few days, I've been spending a whole lot of time with my beloved brother & I'm blessed to have a lovable brother named, Dudy Iskandarsyah. He's always there for me, to annoy me, wipe away all of my tears when I'm crying, cheer me up by making funny faces when I'm sulking or when I'm in raging fire. I love him to bits & pieces of the heart. Every time when the moment we need to go off home in separate ways, my heart will start to develop that missing feeling towards him.

As hours passed by, I'll start to feel insecure, lonely without his presence but I need to bear all these emotions & not let them control me or I'll self-mutilate myself. Though love has not touched me, at least I have a brother to love, & be loved. I appreciate with all my heart for what God has given me. Though we're not living in the same flat, we will in the future once we got a proper job. There's been a whole lot of pain striking my heart now but I've been bearing it with all my might. Holding on to my tears pretty tight, grabbing myself & just standing strong, trying to pretend that everything's going to be fine.

Closing my vulnerable heart, closing it tight while letting all my beautiful & fragile feelings inside, keeping it deep inside, not letting any soul to find them. I'm so tiresome, I don't want to love any longer. I don't want to held any stranger's hand. I don't want to date & have the honeymoon period. It's time for me to think for myself first, set everything stable & for now, spend every second of my time with my precious souls.

I know that deep down inside, I miss how the eyes would connect the other, how the lips met the other, how the tongue would just linger down my neck while I pulled his delicate hair, closing my eyes tight, thinking that it's just me & him in this world with no one else caught at sight. How the lovely cupids would fly around us & shoot arrows at our butts, officially giving a sign that we're making the beautiful love. The passion you felt inside your heart while you're doing it rather than you feel so empty, like there's nothing special inside between the both of you.

But all these, I got to stop thinking about it, let them be placed aside cause I can get this when the time comes. Let fate brings them to me, I don't want to find love any longer, let it touch my heart by itself. Let nature conquer everything.

Labels: touch

zairul is my name &
karma is my game.

His Quote:

what goes around with me comes around you.

Sweetest Ecstasy

♦ Dudy Monteiro.
♦ Dudy's Tumblr.
♦ Hafiz Pendek.
♦ Subhi Illiyyin.
♦ Syakirchner Elise.
♦ Hedi Kikomori.
♥ Jaselin Gemok.
♥ Frah Anne.
♥ Maia Panda.
♥ Yidah Twinny.
♥ Farna Bimbo.
♥ Uffie Aosyki.
♥ Echa Boncet.
♦ Syairul Adams.
♦ Fyzzstro.

Individuals

Amelina.
Azmy.
Belle.
Din.
Echa.
Eicha.
Eydah.
Faizahh.
Fie.
Fir.
Irzan.
Ita.
Jaja.
Mei Ting.
Naim.
Natasha.
Nini.
Nisa.
Pearl.
Qayyum.
Rush.
Shah.
Shasha.
Shaq.
Sheeqeen.
Teko.
Yourlanda.
Yusry.
Zaidi.

May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012

Tagged. Tumblr. Twitter.