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Thursday, March 17, 2011
Misunderstood.  Just a little misunderstood can caused a string to tangle This few days were sleepless nights for me with a restless mind & an aching heart with hand grasped tight, controlling it not to punch any plain hard walls. A few minutes have passed & it strike 7 o'clock in the morning & out of the blue, the wind started blowing hard, then thunders clapped & raindrops started falling from the sky. I closed my eyes & feel the hard wind blowing like I'm in a room where there's a gigantic fan on top of the ceiling spinning hard. Flashbacks started playing in my mind so I started plugging in my earpiece & played a song on repeat mode. The feeling of missing someone appeared in that fragile heart of yours really hurt a lot with the mind playing the beautiful moments we had when we're together. It caused insomniac, depression, stress & negative thoughts will come running into your mind til self-mutilation will occurred. Every second when he is in your mind, thinking whether he is alright without you around, whether he is smiling instead of tearing. It is so hard for me to breathe when everything is all tangled up in my mind. The misunderstood he had, the words that he had inserted in my mouth & the self-mutilation that he did whenever he's thinking too much. It'll be my very last post for you, if you still don't understand what I'm trying to say here, I have no more words to say left. I'm tired of explaining, I'm tired of shedding tears while typing this & apparently I'm tired of everything here in my life. I've never expect anything from anyone of my friends, not even my relatives & especially not even you. I still remembered the words that I gave you, a promise. A promise not to leave you til the day I close this eyes of mine. I'm not leaving you this time, but just having some alone time for myself. Like I said, If I do leave you, I'll tell you. I know you'll asked me why did I ran in the first place not just stop & turn back instead. It is because, I got too stress & embarrassed. That is why I runaway, to have some alone time. To feel ease with no one around. I'm not troubling anyone, I didn't expect anyone to be there for me, did I? That is why I'm alone now, handling shits around me. I didn't expect you to be there for me every second. When I'm in tears, when I'm hurt at home, I didn't come running after you. In fact, a few problems still I've not mentioned to anyone & even if I did, I won't come running back to anyone when it still have not been solved. I'm saying this in a very heart of matter. I don't mind you being the bitchy self but everyone have their own limits & surely you have went over the limit. I'm not expecting anything & I didn't even mention that word, I just want to have my alone time & I'll come back when I'm ready cause I'm still not yet over with what happened. Say whatever you want to say, I'm done here. Thank you for reading & goodbye. Labels: Misunderstood |
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