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Monday, March 14, 2011
Alone.  I cry alone with no shoulder to lie on, I get back up alone when I fall on my knees, I settle my problems alone when they strike me, I walk alone through this empty life & that shows how strong I am, as a single soul I'm all alone now. Nobody is around me anymore. Life of mine is like a ghost town. Moving on alone, no one to support me, no one to be there for me always. Everything is all up to myself. If I fall on my knees, I need to get back up on my own. If I cry for love, I need to find a solution, by distracting myself from it. I got to be strong no matter what happens. Don't want to be a burden to anyone from now on. Though the feeling of loneliness will tend to ache this heart of mine, I will still bear with it no matter what. Still holding on to this cold tears while I type out what I want to say. Pretending that everything's alright when everything is ruined. Putting up a smile on my face when my eyes is holding on a thousand tears. Trying to build up hopes that it'll be brighter in the future when darkness have already conquered my life. Nothing's right anymore, everything's all wrong. It just made me took a few moments to stare at the plain mirror, thinking of the ones who were there for me always & there it goes, one by one they fade away. That's where my heart feel so cold without them, so empty. I'm just too emotional. I feel for others, I'm so weak. So I should just be alone, bear with all the pain, face all my problems & dump it away once I'm done. I want to be strong. I'm doing my best. Why must I owned a heart so emotional, so beautiful yet so weak? Why should I care for others, helped them with their problems, when none helped with mine? I may be a fool but all I know is that I live only once. I'm not like a cat on the street who owned 9 lives. I want to let the ones I love, shine & let them have a smile drawn on their faces before I closed this eyes of mine. I'll pray to God if I could, though I'm just a soul who doesn't believe in any religion, only him. I'll try to be back on track to be a Muslim. Not now, not sooner, but maybe when I feel it in my heart, the sincerity of being proud being a Muslim. I'll instead, just close my eyes every night with both hands clasped tight, letting my soft lips leaned against em' & pray to God hoping that everything is going to be brighter in the future & may the souls whom I left for now be safe as they go through their journey in life. Labels: Alone |
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