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Friday, February 18, 2011
This melancholy soul.  As time went slipping by, the darkness slowly conquered the light, making everything unseen, letting this melancholy soul all alone in this dark life with the deep feelings of insecurity, loneliness & pain filling up the heart. Tears rises the eyes as it pricked the heart, slowly the soul went into the darkness, leaving everything from the light, making himself disappear from everything The serenity of the night calmed the heart, as I closed my eyes, it slowly cleared everything that was in my mind, the feeling of the wind touching my delicate skin really let out a purr, the sound of the stray cats at the foot of the block singing through the night as it was still young. I opened my eyes & tears was rising. I looked at the mirror that was in my aunt's room, looking at myself, my cracked face, my skinny body & a burning cigarette in between my index finger & the middle one. Questions were echoed in my mind. Life got a lot more worse as the world revolves. My mind imaged the beloved souls who have helped me a lot in my life through thick & thin, my beloved gay brother, my gay brother-in-law & especially my special friend who have been supporting me a lot. My heart felt so warm while my eyes were closed with those souls that were captured in my mind, then it all fade away & my heart got cold & darkened. The silent house is filled with hatred, anger & pain now. Back then, the house was filled with, happiness & laughter, not a single negative emotion were caged in someone's heart. But now, it all changed... Thoughts of moving out of the house & living in Malaysia is a high chance of my grandmother to want to go on with that decision bringing along my 13-year-old aunt & I with her, leaving her 22-year-old daughter in the house. Yes, this house is definitely full of dramas but all I can give out is just a triple dot. It all went so badly, having a pressurized mind & an enervate heart. Then all those pain that have caused her to rage in fire hit me so bad, she threw all of it to me. I just don't know what to do but just caged everything inside my fragile heart, sitting there with tears being hold strongly, never wanting a tear to shed from the eyes. I'm disappointed of what is happening revolves around my life. I'm just a boy who still owns no part-time job yet. Wanted a job real bad before my holidays are done but so far, no calls were given from various shops who have written down my name & number. I just do not want to trouble anyone when I'm going out with them & I especially do not want to trouble him, my dear special friend. I'm just hoping that when I open my eyes the next morning, it'll start to get better than worsen as time went slipping by. For now, I'll just wave a goodbye, disappearing myself from everyone... I'm sorry, but I just don't want to be a burden to anyone any longer. May God brings you beloved souls joy & happiness without me as he guides you along the way. Lots of Love, Zairul Labels: soul |
 zairul is my name & karma is my game. His Quote: what goes around with me comes around you. ♦ Dudy Monteiro. ♦ Dudy's Tumblr. ♦ Hafiz Pendek. ♦ Subhi Illiyyin. ♦ Syakirchner Elise. ♦ Hedi Kikomori. ♥ Jaselin Gemok. ♥ Frah Anne. ♥ Maia Panda. ♥ Yidah Twinny. ♥ Farna Bimbo. ♥ Uffie Aosyki. ♥ Echa Boncet. ♦ Syairul Adams. ♦ Fyzzstro. Individuals Amelina. Azmy. Belle. Din. Echa. Eicha. Eydah. Faizahh. Fie. Fir. Irzan. Ita. Jaja. Mei Ting. Naim. Natasha. Nini. Nisa. Pearl. Qayyum. Rush. Shah. Shasha. Shaq. Sheeqeen. Teko. Yourlanda. Yusry. Zaidi. May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 Tagged. Tumblr. Twitter. |
