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Sunday, February 20, 2011
Nightmare in the house.  As the cold night goes young, & as this tears come slipping down, my mind came running, thinking when will this nightmare in the house end cause as time passes by, my heart can't bear to carry all this pain any longer In this cold living room alone with the fan blowing at my direction. Have been sleeping on the red sofa of the living room this past few nights. Caught a cold & a slight fever. Body is as enervate as ever. With a blurry sight when stood up, my head feel so heavy as ever. It feels like someone have been punching my head repeatedly. The pain, it hurt so terribly. Coughing non-stop. No cigarettes left for me, just me, the house & the days left for me to be away from everyone. I got no choice but to be in this house & settle every shit that is happening right now. Though it kills my heart slowly, but still... I'm bearing this heavy pain that have been bestowed upon me. Just waiting for this nightmare to end, & as soon as it ends, I can just step out of this nightmare & meet those beautiful souls that have shine my dark life, grab my hand just to pull me up when I fall right off my knees & give me a tight warm hug, telling me that everything's going to be alright. Those sweet feeling tingles my heart as the people I love came around my mind. It drew out a smile on my face when I kept thinking of these beautiful souls. The missing feeling was there, I miss them to bits, really I do. I can feel that there's a big difference when they're here, around you & when they're far away, from you. The feeling of love, secured, laughter & no space for loneliness & pain were there whenever they're around me, but now... Those negative feelings are right here, caged in my broken heart & as time came slipping by, the feeling got heavier til it leads to tears. I'm doing this for a reason so I apologize if I disappeared myself from everyone. I have no intention to hurt anyone, I swear. I just wish that I wouldn't be in this kind of position right now. I know I'm not lost, I know where I am, but I just really hate it here. 3 more days... Just hope that I'll be alright cause I don't want to continue overdosing myself every time she starts pressurizing me with all her empty words. God, make me feel strong. Love ones, pray for my safety. And you, never give up on waiting for me if you really love me. Goodnight. Labels: Nightmare |
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