My lonely soul is longing for Love

Sun rise. Opened my eyes, checked my phone & there's 4 missed calls & 3 messages from my clans but none from S or even N. N have stopped messaging me since yesterday night I do not know why but it's alright. Guess he's not interested with me anymore. I'm lucky that I only have a tiny crush on him cause once my pink heart for him turns red, I think emotions will come striking again. I knew that he's not interested in me cause no one is so no point putting high hopes on someone even if you know he have feelings for you. That's me alright, no high hopes. S have been busy due to exam & he didn't call me up at all & I miss him very much. I feel like his leaving me when his not. I tend to have negative thoughts but I know that all of those aren't gonna be real so I just try ignore it. Yesterday evening I went to Tampines Park just to release all my negative emotions but it didn't work out at all. I guess Parks doesn't work on me no more, the only place that I can release all of this negative emotions is at the side beach in the middle of the night where you can feel the wind blowing through your face.

My heart started to turn blue & it starts to long for Love. I wanna shed tears just by thinking of it. I feel so cold, so lonely, it's like no one's there for me when I know that my lovely friends are always there for me. This always happen to me & it goes on & off & on & off. I really hate this. It's been almost a year since I didn't get to feel Love. What am I supposed to do? I wanna cry my eyes off but I know I can't. I just can't take the pain, it hurts. Tried to disguised the pain but it kept showing more & more & that's where I wanna let my tears fall even more. S, please call me up... I can't take the pain. I need you to cheer me up on the phone like you always did. Where are you when I need you the most? Can't you feel that my heart is in pain?

Labels: Longing