Karma is my game

Gone.

I thought no one cares & is not going to look for me so I just leave everything, trying to be gone til one fine night when someone beeped me & told me how worried he was when I've gone missing so I guess my thoughts are just sentence with empty meanings after all

"Where were you? I've been looking for you & I'm so worried, I thought you were really gone." The thoughts that I have been keeping in my mind all this time quickly fades away as soon as I read what had appeared on the laptop screen. Syakirchner, my stain, the one that I used to love deeply & the one that I used to wait for months but in the end, the result showed friendship. A beautiful soul that you will never forget as soon as he touches your life. I guess what I've been keeping inside my mind is just sentence with empty meanings. Tears started piling up when I read the rest of the sentences that he had wrote on the screen. My heart started to turn warm again & my life started to show some light. I thought when I leave everything & just be gone, no one will ever look for me & will ever care about me at all but out of a million people in this world, at least one human being is looking everywhere for me & is really worried. Even though it's just only one person who cares for me, at least I get to feel the care & concern that he is giving. I guess, every human being who lives in this world have at least felt that he/she is really a something after all, rather than nothing.

But as soon as he asked me if everything's alright, my mind quickly played a flashback of what have happened two days ago while my lips stayed shut. Those sharp words that can make my ears go deaf. The cold tears flowing through my cracked cheeks. Oh all the sharp pain that is cutting through my aching heart slowly but painfully. The moment of truth & lies spilled out so fast that I almost wanted to run out of the room, go to the kitchen & take a sharp knife & just cut through my skinny arm deeply letting it bleed with oozing blood but I didn't & I just bear with the pain by listening to all those bloody words that she has shot me while my mind was imaging a picture of a sharp knife.

Then it all ends with a cracked face full of tears & a fragile heart that have been smashed to bits. That very day will I never forget the moment of truth & lies, & that very day will my heart never smile like how my lips smile when my ears have heard the words of beauty from a soul's soft lips. I'm done, I'll end my story til here cause it just hurts reading those hurting moments in my mind. So I leave now with holding tears & a broken heart til the very next update.

P.S: I'm missing all my sweetest gay clans & my fav. gaygirl. I want to meet & give you drugs my very warm hugs but it's just not the right time & I'm sorry. I hope you drugs understand, I love you all, forever & always. Take care of yourselves alright cause I'm not there watching your every step.

Labels: Gone

zairul is my name &
karma is my game.

His Quote:

what goes around with me comes around you.

Sweetest Ecstasy

♦ Dudy Monteiro.
♦ Dudy's Tumblr.
♦ Hafiz Pendek.
♦ Subhi Illiyyin.
♦ Syakirchner Elise.
♦ Hedi Kikomori.
♥ Jaselin Gemok.
♥ Frah Anne.
♥ Maia Panda.
♥ Yidah Twinny.
♥ Farna Bimbo.
♥ Uffie Aosyki.
♥ Echa Boncet.
♦ Syairul Adams.
♦ Fyzzstro.

Individuals

Amelina.
Azmy.
Belle.
Din.
Echa.
Eicha.
Eydah.
Faizahh.
Fie.
Fir.
Irzan.
Ita.
Jaja.
Mei Ting.
Naim.
Natasha.
Nini.
Nisa.
Pearl.
Qayyum.
Rush.
Shah.
Shasha.
Shaq.
Sheeqeen.
Teko.
Yourlanda.
Yusry.
Zaidi.

May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012

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