Karma is my game

Cold.

I know this feeling, this cold feeling that I'm having now. I ask my cold heart what's the problem & he shed a tear while saying this,"I miss tasting a human being's love."

Lying down on the blanket while listening to my Ipod & SG's bestf, N was beside me sleeping. Suddenly I felt something stroking my hair, kept moving my head while closing my eyes. The strokes make my heart feel so relax & then, SG which is S, called me to sit beside him & watch a scary video together with him. I shooked my head & said that I wanted to lie down on the blanket while listening to my Ipod. He smiled & just watched the video. A few minutes later, he turned off the computer & came here to lie down with us. I was in the middle while S was on my left & N was on my right. S came tickling N, & N was laughing while he tried to grab S's hand. S told me to stroke his hair cause he just love it when I stroke his hair. I smiled & just stroke his hair for a little while. Then S started to disturb N again & N's head was around my neck & he kept moving his head. I started to feel arouse & quickly told N to stop moving his head cause his head was at my weakness spot which is my neck. He giggled & told S about it. S knew that my neck is my weakness spot, then N started to poke my neck. I laughed & said that poking wouldn't make me feel aroused at all. Then he slowly move his finger around my neck & I started to move my head. He giggled & moved his finger again.

S grab N's hand & place it on my hips. I stared at S cause that was my other weakness spot & S just smiled but thankfully N didn't move his hand cause if he did then my breathing will start to turn heavy. Then N starts to move his head again which is near around my neck & I started to feel arouse again. Close my eyes & wanted to turn & taste his lips but when I almost got there, I turned my head away. Was afraid that I'll get used up, then N asked me if I'm good at seducing. I replied, " of course." while smiling so wide. He asked me how do I seduce someone. Then I asked him whether he wants me to give him a demo, he smiled & nodded. I laughed & suddenly S's mom called him & S went out of the room keeping the door closed. N just lay beside me & I started t feel cold. Told him that I was so cold & needed something to hug with. He gladly replied, "there, pillow." while showing himself that he's the pillow. I giggled & hugged him.

Then I stroke his hair & he asked whether I love to stroke guys hair. I just nodded & he compliment me that the way I stroke is so nice. I smiled & continue stroking his hair. He then covered his face with his hand & I slowly started to move my hand down to his hips & I started to move my finger around it. I looked at him & saw him giving that wow look. I stopped & said, "& that is how you seduce a guy." while giving him the cheeky look. He giggled & said something, couldn't hear what he said & I told him to repeat it again. He said nothing & I quickly went closer to him & force him to spit it out. I let my right ear move closer to his lips & he then said, "what if .... " I smiled while staring at him & he just blushed while he stared at the ceiling.

S came in & told me that Hafiz texted him what time will I reached home cause he is on his way home. I just replied, "Soon." Then S suggested me to go home now cause he do not want Hafiz to get worried. I nodded, took my stuff & S send me to the MRT station. Suddenly, I felt something changed slowly in my heart & it just turned cold. I know this feeling, this cold feeling. It's a sickness, a lovesick. Told S about it, & he told me to not expect it too much cause it sometimes won't happen. I shooked my head & said that I didn't expect anything but I'm just missing the taste of a human being's love. Reached MRT station & S told me to text him when I reached home. I nodded & waved goodbye to him & I just went off. Train arrived, went in & took a seat. After around 45 mins, train arrived & I boarded. Tap out & I just walk home. It was so cold, looked up & I saw a big round moon & a bright star in the night sky. That feeling was still in me & tears started to rise. I tried to ignore the pain & I managed.

Got home, took a shower & lay down on my bed. S called me & we talk for awhile, he told me that after I left, N started to feel depressed. I was shocked & said that I should have kissed him. We laughed & I asked whether is it about his god brother. He answered, "Yes." & he told me that N was staring at the wall again. He was worried & I got even more worried, I was about to shed a tear but I just bear with the pain. I feel him. S told me to get some rest cause tomorrow I need to wake up for school. Gave him a sigh & just said, "Alright." Told him to tell N not to feel so heartbroken cause it won't help, the only thing he must do is to just move on. We both then hung up & I switched off the lights. Lay down on my bed & the feeling was still inside me. I closed my eyes trying to forget about my feelings & when I just closed my eyes, my right eye shed a tear. I guess I just miss love too much & I know that I won't have a second relationship with another man ever again cause my hope will always be Impossible.

Labels: cold

zairul is my name &
karma is my game.

His Quote:

what goes around with me comes around you.

Sweetest Ecstasy

♦ Dudy Monteiro.
♦ Dudy's Tumblr.
♦ Hafiz Pendek.
♦ Subhi Illiyyin.
♦ Syakirchner Elise.
♦ Hedi Kikomori.
♥ Jaselin Gemok.
♥ Frah Anne.
♥ Maia Panda.
♥ Yidah Twinny.
♥ Farna Bimbo.
♥ Uffie Aosyki.
♥ Echa Boncet.
♦ Syairul Adams.
♦ Fyzzstro.

Individuals

Amelina.
Azmy.
Belle.
Din.
Echa.
Eicha.
Eydah.
Faizahh.
Fie.
Fir.
Irzan.
Ita.
Jaja.
Mei Ting.
Naim.
Natasha.
Nini.
Nisa.
Pearl.
Qayyum.
Rush.
Shah.
Shasha.
Shaq.
Sheeqeen.
Teko.
Yourlanda.
Yusry.
Zaidi.

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